Archive for the ‘discipline’ Category

Love-to-Learn

Children have a strong desire to learn.TH

(The only exceptions are some children with learning disabilities.)  Many people like to give rewards or treats as a part of teaching.  This practice creates more problems than it solves.  When we use treats/bribes/rewards with children that already have a desire to learn, we replace their love-to-learn, with a love to get treats.  The more you can help children tap into their own internal love-to-learn, the more self-motivated the child is.

If you are working with very young children don’t start using treats for winning games, or for finishing school work etc.  Share with them the excitement of learning new things.   When they show you their work or picture, ask them what they think.  Help them see the joy in learning.

Older children, who have lost some of their love-to-learn, need your help to recognize the fun in learning.  Help them see how much they have learned and the natural rewards from that knowledge.  Keep excited about learning and they will catch your excitement.

It is harder to find natural rewards and motivations but the results are more permanent.

Enjoy helping children rediscover their internal love-to-learn.

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Don’t

“Don’t” isn’t a word that children understand.

When you tell a child, “Don’t touch the stove.”, all they hear is, “Touch the stove.”

It is better to say what you want them to do such as: “Stand back!  It is hot.” or “Stop!  The stove is hot”.  This is hard to do, but instructions or rules given in a positive manner, always works best.

Examples:

“Keep your hands to yourself.”

“Keep all four legs of your chair on the floor.”

Good luck on making directions more positive!

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Love Them!

Love Them without Fear or Anger!sidebar-children

This is the most important discipline tip.   

  • You must genuinely care for the children in your life. 
  • It needs to be unconditional.
  • The younger the child the more they can read your mind.  If you are afraid, joyful, loving, happy,  prejudice, angry; children will know without any words.  
  • Anger and all emotions are a CHOICE.  You truly can choose what emotion you will have when you deal with the children in your life. 
  • Choose to be happy and positive.
  • Practice loving unconditionally without fear, prejudice or anger.   It is magical!   
  • Try to never React!  Everything will run smoother. 
  • No one can do this 100% of the time.   

Good Luck!

Discipline Tip- What about Bored?

Bored       shy girl

Children use the word, “BORED” to manipulate and get attention from the adults around them.  Teachers, parents, and other caregivers are easily pulled into trying to entertain them when this term is used.  Here are a few tips to help reduce the use of “BORED”.

  1. Don’t allow the word to be used.  It goes right along with potty words.  Warn them matter-of-fact that the word is no longer allowed.  Maybe have extra jobs associated with its use.
  2. Make sure you are not rewarding the use of the word “BORED” with attention.
  3. Eliminate it from your own vocabulary.
  4. Be proactive to create some positive, quality time with children.   Never have positive time be a reaction to negative actions or the word, “BORED”.

Enjoy those children in your care!   Love them!  Good luck on your journey to eliminate the use of the word, “BORED”.

 

Who is in Charge?

sidebar-childrenWho is in charge in your school, home, etc.? 

    It needs to be a teacher, parent or leader.  Be prepared and come with a plan.  Children can sense when you doubt yourself.  Keep it positive, upbeat and confident!

      Children feel safe when they are with an adult that has control of the situation.  Expect children to mind and accept nothing less.  Encourage the behaviors you want and ignore or isolate the unwanted behavior.  Never just watch unwanted behavior.  That rewards that child.  Create something more interesting to do.

Example:  What to do when taking a child shopping at the supermarket? 

  • Keep your focus on shopping and the child.  Involve the child in the shopping experience.  (No cell phones or any long conversations with other adults) 
  • Have them help look for items or have them count out an amount of some item. 
  • Don’t ask them what they want or give them big choices.  Instead give them a choice between 2 or 3 items. 
  • Never let the shopping become what the child wants.  This is your shopping list. 
  • If a child asks for things say something like, “It isn’t on the list. Maybe we could plan to get it another time.” or “Remember, candy you buy with your own money.” 
  • If a child starts fussing about something say: “I never buy for fussing children.” then ignore them. 
  • Don’t tell children you will buy them something if they are good, because it creates more problems than it solves.  
  • Never turn control of the shopping trip over to the child.   Continue to focus on the list, the shopping and the behaving child. 
  • NEVER give into tantrum children or they will tantrum again!

Hope this helpful.  Enjoy the little ones in your care.  Be in charge and everyone will be happier.

Spring Fever

kite cover image

Spring Fever is the restless, edgy feeling that comes in the spring with the many changes of weather.  It makes adults have less patience and children can not hold still.  Knowing this is what is happening, helps us handle the discipline problems this time of year.  What to Do?

Go outside: Find a way to incorporate what you want to teach or accomplish by going outside.

Creative art projects:  Do finger painting, homemade play dough,  torn paper spring collage, etc.

  • Sensory activities:  Do sand or bean play, water play (wash the play dishes by hand), pudding painting, etc.
  • Vary the routine:  Have the children help create a new routine.
  • Music:  Incorporate music in whatever you can.  They will remember what you are teaching and they will love it.  Also, bring out the rhythm instruments, play a marching song and have a marching band.
  • Exercise  Walk ,dance, read while standing/moving and just keep movement in your day.

Spring Fever–accept it and work with it.  Enjoy the children in your life.

Act Don’t React!

Act Don’t React            displayImage--sm6

As homes today are now schools, we will post often some ideas to help with your new role as teacher.

When you anticipate what will happen and make plans to avoid any problems, it makes everything go smoother.  Here are examples of how to ACT.

  • If you have a child that has attention-getting behavior,  evaluate when they misbehave, then plan ahead to give them opportunities to help.  This gives them a chance to have positive attention before you start the family dinner, lesson or other activity.  Preparation avoids most discipline problems.
  • When a problem happens, stop and pretend to be angry before it goes too far.  Use very few words.  (I like the word, “Stop”.)  Sometimes we are too patient and let bad behavior go too long.  If you pretend to be angry, you can pick words that address the behavior instead of attacking the child.  If you wait too long and really become angry, you will say things you will later regret.

Think ahead and plan how you will act with the children in your life.   Enjoy the children in your life.  Smile more.

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