Forgive

Never take anything personal that children or anyone says to you.  Whether it is a student or your own child, let it go.  My mother used to say to me when other children had said mean things,  “Just let it roll off your back like water on a duck’s back.”

When you let what others say upset you, they think they have a way to control you.

LET IT GO!  Forgive!  Treat everyone unconditionally.   If you can master this, it will have amazing results.

Good Luck!

Discipline Tip—Use Less Words

• Listening more and talking less are what I work on constantly.
• When a child misbehaves, use as few words as possible.  Sometimes a look or the word, “STOP” is enough to stop a behavior.  Use time-out or move them if necessary.
• If a child needs to be talked to about a problem, make it one on one, if at all possible. Have them tell you the problem and have them give you solutions to the problem.  You act as the sounding board.  Have them commit to new behavior.  Have the commitments be positive.  (Use nice words, keeps hands to myself, etc.)
• Older children can make a written commitment or promise and sign it.

Good luck on your commitment to talk less and listen more.

Telling on other Children

              Telling on Others!  

No one wants to listen to children constantly telling on other children.  This is a hard issue because children need to know they can say if something is truly wrong, but when children tell on every little thing it is very disruptive in a class or at home.  Also, children need to learn to resolve some of their own differences with children and adults.   Here are a few ideas for helping children do their own work and learn to resolve their differences:

• Sometimes children need to be seated differently, so it isn’t so easy for them to mother the other children.
• Have the rule: We all do our own work.
• When a child complains about how someone isn’t sharing, etc., encourage them to use their words and ask for a turn.  Most children like to share if they are asked nicely.
• Encourage them to make sure they are doing what they should.
• Praise children that are doing their own work.
• When doing cooperative play or projects, encourage them to let their friends help.
• Have a discussion about what kind of things are important to tell the teacher or parent and what things they can resolve themselves.  Knowing this will create successful students and adults.  Bullying can never be tolerated and children need to understand that they can tell.
• Everyone has a personal inner guide, conscience, or holy spirit.  It is good to help children find their inner guide and listen to it.  This can help children know when to tell and when to resolve it themselves.
• Use positive words when talking about this problem.  It is best to use words that point them in the direction they need to go like, “Use your words.” “Do your own work.” “Make sure you are being a good friend to everyone.”  Negative labels never help.

This is hard skill to master, but it is an important part of growing up.  No one wants friends that are continually complaining.   It doesn’t work well in the job world.  It is also important to know when to say something to stop bullying and abuse.  Please comment with ideas you have for working on these issues.

Discipline Tip-I am Good and I Can

I am Good and I Can.

If children can internalize a positive self-image, they are more successful.  This is best done by them voicing the words.

I had an elementary math class where most of the children had a life of trouble with math.  “I can’t!” was what they believe about themselves.  We started everyday with everyone closing their eyes and saying in unison:  “I am good, I am smart, and I can do math.” Then we started your day.  We were rewriting what they believed about themselves.   We would work until they learned each concept.  They were not allowed to fail.  It was amazing how well those children did for the first time in their life.   There also was never any discipline problems in the class.

When I tutor children, I include this same method.  It makes the learning more successful.

Telling children doesn’t change their self-image as much as when they tell themselves.  It is good to compliment, but follow-up by asking how they feel about their work.

If you are a parent of a child with low self-esteem, say with them a statement of a new positive self-image.  Help them say the same statement each morning in a private place. This will help them have a permanent change of self-esteem.  I know it seems strange, but it really makes a difference.  Enjoy the children in your life.

There is another discipline tip in this blog called “I Like Myself”.  It has more ideas.

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LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY–Love is the Key

Love is the  key!                                      

Everyone needs to feel loved and cared about.  No one can interact with others perfectly, but if the children in your life feel loved and cared about, they will work harder and be more successful.

Here are a few ideas to help children feel your unconditional love for them:

• Express your love for them individually.  Make it personal and real.
• Use Active Listening.   Repeat back to them what they have said in an understanding manner.
• Ask them a specific question about themselves.  I like to have free time first, so I can have some personal interaction with as many students as possible before starting class.
• An affectionate touch or hug.  Never force a hug or affection.   Sometimes a one-armed side hug, a hand on the shoulder or hand makes all the difference.  If you listen with your heart you will know when it is needed.
• A personal smile.
• Give them a personal simple task to help you.  We all need to be needed.  Incorporate helpers in your day.  Make helping a pleasure not a chore!  “You get to” or “I need you to”, not “you have to”, makes all the difference.
• One on one or small group activities help them see you care.  Try handwriting practice in a tray or plate of cornmeal or finger painting.

Sit back and quietly observe with an open mind.  Open your heart!  Taking time for each child will eliminate future possible discipline problems.  Act don’t React!  Enjoy your time with the children in your life.  Make each day a treasure; we never know what tomorrow brings.

Give us your comments on how you help children feel loved.  Have a great day!

Visit our website for great phonics materials for home or school. http://www.phonicsbyspelling.com/

Take Care of Yourself–Discipline Tip

 

Self-Esteem–

You, as the teacher or parent, need to feel good about yourself.  To do this you must find your inner greatness.  You were created by greatness and that Creator only makes greatness.  Look inside yourself and see your own personal worth.  Your personal worth has nothing to do with your job, being a parent, how much money you have, what size you are, the bad things you have done, or the bad things that have been done to you, etc.  Your personal worth is a gift and it is inside you.  Your task is to look inward and find your personal worth.  Tips to find your inner worth:

• Make a list of qualities your Creator/Heavenly Father has.
• Realize those qualities you have inherited, and your task is to find them.
• Forgive.
• Life is full of possibilities.  Find your possibilities.
• Live for what you can do for others, and not what you can get.
• God doesn’t make junk.  Treat yourself with dignity.  You are HIS creation.
• There is a song from my childhood that has helped me through hard times.  “I Am A Child of God”  Find songs to help you.

When you start finding your inner worth, you will have more success working with the children in your life.    LOVE YOURSELF!

 http://www.phonicsbyspelling.com/

Love-to-Learn

Children have a strong desire to learn.

(The only exceptions are some children with learning disabilities.)  Many people like to give rewards or treats as a part of teaching.  This practice creates more problems than it solves.  When we use treats/bribes/rewards with children that already have a desire to learn, we replace their love-to-learn, with a love to get treats.  The more you can help children tap into their own internal love-to-learn, the more self-motivated the child is.

If you are working with very young children don’t start using treats for winning games, or for finishing school work etc.  Share with them the excitement of learning new things.   When they show you their work or picture, ask them what they think.  Help them see the joy in learning.

Older children, who have lost some of their love-to-learn, need your help to recognize the fun in learning.  Help them see how much they have learned and the natural rewards from that knowledge.  Keep excited about learning and they will catch your excitement.

It is harder to find natural rewards and motivations but the results are more permanent.

Enjoy helping children rediscover their internal love-to-learn.

Check out our website. http://www.phonicsbyspelling.com/

Don’t

“Don’t” isn’t a word that children understand.

When you tell a child, “Don’t touch the stove.”, all they hear is, “Touch the stove.”

It is better to say what you want them to do such as: “Stand back!  It is hot.” or “Stop!  The stove is hot”.  This is hard to do, but instructions or rules given in a positive manner, always works best.

Examples:

“Keep your hands to yourself.”

“Keep all four legs of your chair on the floor.”

Good luck on making directions more positive!

For more educational products and information visit www.phonicsbyspelling.com

 

Love Them!

Love Them without Fear or Anger!

This is the most important discipline tip.   

• You must genuinely care for the children in your life. 
• It needs to be unconditional.
• The younger the child the more they can read your mind.  If you are afraid, joyful, loving, happy,  prejudice, angry; children will know without any words.  
• Anger and all emotions are a CHOICE.  You truly can choose what emotion you will have when you deal with the children in your life. 
• Choose to be happy and positive.
• Practice loving unconditionally without fear, prejudice or anger.   It is magical!   
• Try to never React!  Everything will run smoother. 
• No one can do this 100% of the time.   

Good Luck!

Discipline Tip- What about Bored?

Bored       

Children use the word, “BORED” to manipulate and get attention from the adults around them.  Teachers, parents, and other caregivers are easily pulled into trying to entertain them when this term is used.  Here are a few tips to help reduce the use of “BORED”.

1. Don’t allow the word to be used.  It goes right along with potty words.  Warn them matter-of-fact that the word is no longer allowed.  Maybe have extra jobs associated with its use.
2. Make sure you are not rewarding the use of the word “BORED” with attention.
3. Eliminate it from your own vocabulary.
4. Be proactive to create some positive, quality time with children.   Never have positive time be a reaction to negative actions or the word, “BORED”.

Enjoy those children in your care!   Love them!  Good luck on your journey to eliminate the use of the word, “BORED”.