Love-to-Learn

Children have a strong desire to learn.

(The only exceptions are some children with learning disabilities.)  Many people like to give rewards or treats as a part of teaching.  This practice creates more problems than it solves.  When we use treats/bribes/rewards with children that already have a desire to learn, we replace their love-to-learn, with a love to get treats.  The more you can help children tap into their own internal love-to-learn, the more self-motivated the child is.

If you are working with very young children don’t start using treats for winning games, or for finishing school work etc.  Share with them the excitement of learning new things.   When they show you their work or picture, ask them what they think.  Help them see the joy in learning.

Older children, who have lost some of their love-to-learn, need your help to recognize the fun in learning.  Help them see how much they have learned and the natural rewards from that knowledge.  Keep excited about learning and they will catch your excitement.

It is harder to find natural rewards and motivations but the results are more permanent.

Enjoy helping children rediscover their internal love-to-learn.

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Don’t

“Don’t” isn’t a word that children understand.

When you tell a child, “Don’t touch the stove.”, all they hear is, “Touch the stove.”

It is better to say what you want them to do such as: “Stand back!  It is hot.” or “Stop!  The stove is hot”.  This is hard to do, but instructions or rules given in a positive manner, always works best.

Examples:

“Keep your hands to yourself.”

“Keep all four legs of your chair on the floor.”

Good luck on making directions more positive!

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Love Them!

Love Them without Fear or Anger!

This is the most important discipline tip.   

• You must genuinely care for the children in your life. 
• It needs to be unconditional.
• The younger the child the more they can read your mind.  If you are afraid, joyful, loving, happy,  prejudice, angry; children will know without any words.  
• Anger and all emotions are a CHOICE.  You truly can choose what emotion you will have when you deal with the children in your life. 
• Choose to be happy and positive.
• Practice loving unconditionally without fear, prejudice or anger.   It is magical!   
• Try to never React!  Everything will run smoother. 
• No one can do this 100% of the time.   

Good Luck!

Who is in Charge?

Who is in charge in your school, home, etc.? 

    It needs to be a teacher, parent or leader.  Be prepared and come with a plan.  Children can sense when you doubt yourself.  Keep it positive, upbeat and confident!

      Children feel safe when they are with an adult that has control of the situation.  Expect children to mind and accept nothing less.  Encourage the behaviors you want and ignore or isolate the unwanted behavior.  Never just watch unwanted behavior.  That rewards that child.  Create something more interesting to do.

Example:  What to do when taking a child shopping at the supermarket? 

• Keep your focus on shopping and the child.  Involve the child in the shopping experience.  (No cell phones or any long conversations with other adults) 
• Have them help look for items or have them count out an amount of some item. 
• Don’t ask them what they want or give them big choices.  Instead give them a choice between 2 or 3 items. 
• Never let the shopping become what the child wants.  This is your shopping list. 
• If a child asks for things say something like, “It isn’t on the list. Maybe we could plan to get it another time.” or “Remember, candy you buy with your own money.” 
• If a child starts fussing about something say: “I never buy for fussing children.” then ignore them. 
• Don’t tell children you will buy them something if they are good, because it creates more problems than it solves.  
• Never turn control of the shopping trip over to the child.   Continue to focus on the list, the shopping and the behaving child. 
• NEVER give into tantrum children or they will tantrum again!

Hope this helpful.  Enjoy the little ones in your care.  Be in charge and everyone will be happier.

Spring Fever

Spring Fever is the restless, edgy feeling that comes in the spring with the many changes of weather.  It makes adults have less patience and children can not hold still.  Knowing this is what is happening, helps us handle the discipline problems this time of year.  What to Do?

Go outside: Find a way to incorporate what you want to teach or accomplish by going outside.

Creative art projects:  Do finger painting, homemade play dough,  torn paper spring collage, etc.

• Sensory activities:  Do sand or bean play, water play (wash the play dishes by hand), pudding painting, etc.
• Vary the routine:  Have the children help create a new routine.
• Music:  Incorporate music in whatever you can.  They will remember what you are teaching and they will love it.  Also, bring out the rhythm instruments, play a marching song and have a marching band.
• Exercise:   Walk ,dance, read while standing/moving and just keep movement in your day.

Spring Fever–accept it and work with it.  Enjoy the children in your life.

Have a Routine.

Routine is one of the keys to successful discipline.

As many are home schooling for the first time, you will have great success when you set a routine.  Everything will go smoother with a routine.

• It is good to have a routine or schedule.  It will help your day run smoother.

• Whether it is in a classroom or at home, children handle everything better if they know the routine (Bed time, reading time, homework time, etc.).

• Most children feel more comfortable with an established routine.

• When the routine has to be changed, it will go smoother if they are told in advance the routine will be changed.

• Children need to learn to handle last-minute changes but it is good to practice that in a controlled situation, not when you need it to happen now.

I Like Myself!

Children need to feel good about themselves and their creative work.

 

When children want you to praise them for their work, turn it around and ask how they feel about it.  This builds their internal self-worth.  Example:

• Child:  Do you like my picture?
• Adult:  What do you like about your picture?
• Child:  The flowers.
• Adult:  I see why you like the flowers.

This helps children see what is good about themselves.  When the child comes up with it, it is internalized better.

Try using positive talk about yourself.  This is great modeling.

This takes practice.  Enjoy the learning path.

Teach Sharing (A How To)

Sharing!

Children love to share if they are invited to share and not forced to share.  Also, never reward a child that takes a toy by making the child that had the toy share.

When a child takes a toy away from another child, the toy should be given back to the child that had the toy.  Even if the child is a toddler, they shouldn’t take the toy away from anyone else.  After the toy is given back then the child is coached to ask for a turn with the toy.  The child with the toy is invited to share the toy when they are finished.  You can say something like; “Sam would like a turn when you are finished.”  In 1 or 2 minutes if they haven’t given the other person a turn.  Then remind them that the other child would like a turn.  The younger a child learns to share the better.

Here are tips for helping children share:

• Encourage the use of polite words like “please” and “thank you”.
• Never force a child to share. 
• Never let a child keep a toy they have taken from another child. 
• Always make them give it back.  Even if the child is older.  
• Teach children to use words to ask for something.

Teaching children to share this way will help them learn patience, how to ask for what they want, and learn to love sharing.

Enjoy the little ones in your life.

Need Attention

Remember, children need to have attention.

• Try to give positive attention before the child has misbehaved. Right after they have misbehaved it is too late for positive attention.
• Keep positive attention real. Children see right through anything fake.
• Some positive attention ideas are: Read together, play a game, sit with them, take an interest in what they are doing, or invite them to be a helper.

Enjoy the little ones in your life.  What are your ideas for positive attention?

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