Telling on other Children

              Telling on Others!  

No one wants to listen to children constantly telling on other children.  This is a hard issue because children need to know they can say if something is truly wrong, but when children tell on every little thing it is very disruptive in a class or at home.  Also, children need to learn to resolve some of their own differences with children and adults.   Here are a few ideas for helping children do their own work and learn to resolve their differences:

• Sometimes children need to be seated differently, so it isn’t so easy for them to mother the other children.
• Have the rule: We all do our own work.
• When a child complains about how someone isn’t sharing, etc., encourage them to use their words and ask for a turn.  Most children like to share if they are asked nicely.
• Encourage them to make sure they are doing what they should.
• Praise children that are doing their own work.
• When doing cooperative play or projects, encourage them to let their friends help.
• Have a discussion about what kind of things are important to tell the teacher or parent and what things they can resolve themselves.  Knowing this will create successful students and adults.  Bullying can never be tolerated and children need to understand that they can tell.
• Everyone has a personal inner guide, conscience, or holy spirit.  It is good to help children find their inner guide and listen to it.  This can help children know when to tell and when to resolve it themselves.
• Use positive words when talking about this problem.  It is best to use words that point them in the direction they need to go like, “Use your words.” “Do your own work.” “Make sure you are being a good friend to everyone.”  Negative labels never help.

This is hard skill to master, but it is an important part of growing up.  No one wants friends that are continually complaining.   It doesn’t work well in the job world.  It is also important to know when to say something to stop bullying and abuse.  Please comment with ideas you have for working on these issues.